Repetition

I'm getting tired of going on dates and the first thing they say is always along the lines of 'why are you single?' and 'why don't you have a boyfriend?' Why do I need one? I didn't want one before and now I'm actually going out and meeting people and going on dates. This guy I've been seeing for two weeks now just doesn't understand that I don't want anything too serious right now and we are just going on dates to get to know each other and hook up. But when I do hang out with him he just keeps saying those kind of things. He'd stop in the middle of a conversation and just admire me and when I'd ask him what's wrong he'd always reply the same, 'You're just so smart, young, and beautiful, but you don't have a boyfriend or haven't dated in a while.' And I'd just ugh. I don't know. It pisses me off. I don't care. I mean I am thankful for the compliments, but do you need to say it like I have to have a man? You look at me like it's too bad. He tries really hard to get me and I'm not even interested. He's an idiot. I can't even keep a normal conversation with him because it'd be like teaching a kid. I know that he thinks I'm going to fall head over heels for him, but I'm not which catches him off guard and I think that's why he's trying so hard to talk to me and crud. It's really irritating because I'm not that type of person. I'm not the type to text you all the time. You're lucky if I even reply that day.. or week. I just want him to be deployed and forget me. I want him to delete my number. He's not even worth my time if he can't even have a conversation with me.

Another thing that's been on my mind is one of my best friends from middle school/ high school. I found him on instagram and finally I get ahold of him. and we text. I finally tell him that I liked him for so long and he didn't do anything.. and yet he replies with the same thing but says that I knew. I really didn't know. I didn't know that he liked me and I was in complete shock. Now he won't even reply to me because I'm asking if I was suppose to do something about it. Because those feelings haven't changed. He was always the guy that I can go to to talk about everything and anything. And unlike my other best friend that I like we can go out in public. He wouldn't care if we'd be seen together. He was that one guy friend that made me feel at home. He won't reply to me. He's still my best friend even if I may not be his. I loved him. and prolly still do. But I don't think that even matters. He was the only guy friend that I got through to. But he's prolly still in love with his ex. I always felt like that when we hung out too. She has a boyfriend and etc. And here I am wondering the same questions. Am I not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough? Is it because I'd rather stay at home with him and play video games? Is it because I don't dress like a hipster and have a s54165341351 followers on instagram? Is it cause' I don't dance and stand 5'2 and weigh 100 pounds? I fucken like you. I fucken still do. You made me bawl my fucken eyes out. Why won't you talk to me? Just as a friend would be fine. I'm used to being friended.