We were driving there and it takes about 25 to 30 mins to get there.
I drive slower in this area because I'm not familiar with the ridiculously long and wide roads. The rules for outdoorsy roads are different so i keep my lights on just in case. Just so that people know that we are driving,
We make a couple turns that I remember by landmarks. Its two right turns.
The first one always made me remember someone pretty close to me when I was little.
We turn right on the three way intersection that is directly in front of a cemetery. Singing hills cemetery.
His name pops up in my head when I see the cemetery sign. I asked my mom if she remember him but she didn't. She wasn't good with names..maybe that where i get that from.
I got a little choked up talking about him because he was so special to me in my heart.
His name is Steven.
This guy was one of the one american white boys at my school when I was growing up.He was different and I liked his vibe but we didn't speak to each other. It was more like passing by each other. I knew who he was because he was the youngest son of the best physical education teacher ever.
I think I knew that he was going to be special to me and that he was going to break my heart. I knew even though I didn't really know.
I'm not too sure how we got close as friends.. Too the point where he was my best friend. I remember he would stick up for me when the other boys would make fun of me. It wasn't just the boys though. The girls were much worse. He helped me pull through even though I was so aggressive in showing my interests in him. I really loved him. I just had no idea what that meant at that time.
I was way to young to even realize anything.We were always playing and joking around. It was great because he wouldn't go easy on me just because I was a girl. He was a dare devil and a thrill seeker. OH and his favorite color was blue. He would crayola marker his beautiful bright blonde hair with blue every chance he got. I just remember him looking at me the first time he did it. He was so proud and had to show me first.
I cried downstairs. It felt like a ton of bricks fell on my heart. I couldn't bare the thought of seeing his tomb stone and now I'm regretting that I haven't. It's so close and I've passed it way too many times.
It feels like no one knows who i am in his life.
But he was so special to me. He was really the first love I truly felt in my life that didn't make me feel like a disgusting person. He accepted that I liked to play video games, and that I don't play nice and cute with dolls at recess. He made me feel comfortable in my clothes and who I was when I was little.
I kept crying. I will still cry for him, My eyes always swell up when I even think about him. It makes ne so sad that I feel the sore and aching in my heart right now.
I loved him with everything I had.
He called me every summer. It was very often it was usually once or twice.He was always busy with sports and his new school. I didn't want to bother him with my dumb stories .
I just remember him telling me that he would like to see me for high school graduation. We talked for hours and when we had to call it a night it was a promise.
Promise no matter what that we would see each other at high school graduation.
He didn't call.
I got scared and called him.
And like that he was gone. February 4 2007
x
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